Sex, Lies and Money

Money in hand picture

I have been thinking about the issues of sexual predatory behaviors, in work places and abusive marriages, and how it relates to our beliefs around money.  Sexual abuse has the ability to keep us captive in a bad circumstance because we choose to believe that the person abusing us is the main source of our money flow.  We take a job, find out the boss wants sexual favors and we stay because we believe that this job is the best (or only) job we can get.  We believe that if we let go of the job, or the spouse, we will be destitute and on the streets.

Why do we choose to believe this?

I believe there are several factors.  First off, we don’t believe in our inherent worthiness.  We have been given messages, subtle and not so subtle, our entire lives that we should act small because we are small.  For the record, this is a FLAT OUT LIE.

Another reason: we haven’t learned that we are the source of our own abundance.

We haven’t had enough practice actively and consciously creating our own experiences. We haven’t realized that everything that shows up in our life, good or bad, comes from the thoughts we choose to believe and act on (based on the things we came here to learn but that’s another post).  It’s that simple.

And, that hard.  Changing our beliefs requires looking at our life from a different perspective and then continuing to chose that perspective throughout each day even though our brain wants to insert the habitual beliefs that we have been thinking our whole lives. We have to practice the new thought, over and over, just like we would practice learning a new language, by speaking it over and over, even though we are butchering it to death when we first start out.

We learn a new language of self-love.

And we need to ask ourselves, ‘Why do I want to believe that old thought?  What am I gaining from that way of thinking?”.  Many times, we can’t answer these questions because we don’t know why.  We don’t realize that we picked up the belief that “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush” because our grandmother used to say that to us when we were little.  We have lots of these unconscious beliefs floating around in our brain and we act them out every day in our lives, even when they aren’t working for us.

I invite you into the realm of conscious creation, my dear friends.  I invite you to figure out the beliefs that are keeping you stuck in situations that you wish you weren’t in.  And then, I invite you to create new beliefs and habits that create the beautiful life you came here to experience.  If you’d like help with that, shoot me an email at  This is something I’m getting really good at and I’d love to share my tricks with you.

In love and light,


Let go and get free


It has been a few years since I’ve written here and as I come back to this WordPress landing page, I am having a rush of memories from the time in my life when I used to post here.  SO much has changed since then and, most importantly, I have changed, from the inside out.

A huge part of this change came from all that I’ve let go, so I thought it would be interesting to make a list in black and white.  Sometimes it’s good to take inventory so you can see how far you’ve come. 🙂

First and foremost, I let go of all things toxic.  This seems like it’s not a big deal, but it actually encompasses every area of my life and is the single biggest change accelerator I could have employed.  I grouped these toxins into five big categories:

  • toxic people, neighborhoods, school systems and houses (I let go of two in the last four years.)
  • toxic food, cleaning products, toiletries, make-up, hair dye, medications
  • toxic water, air, yard weed killers and fertilizers
  • toxic habits, thought processes, expectations, routines, and work life
  • toxic spending

I could write a blog post on each of these areas, and I probably will, in time.

Along with all that, I let go of tons of stuff!  With two downsizing moves, this was inevitable, and the truth is, I’m still getting rid of things.  I’m in the process of selling some of the last pieces of furniture that wouldn’t fit into my small three bedroom.  And I’ve been going through my closet with an even more discerning eye.  I’m really liking the idea of doing a capsule wardrobe.  This will force me to distill my style but that is a process that I am well acquainted with.

You see, everything I have done in the past four years has been about distilling my life down to the essence of what I want it to look like.  Sometimes the process has been messy and painful, but it has been incredibly worth it so that I can be where I am now, which is free and emotionally and physically healthy.

Freedom is one of my core values.  In order to be free, you have to live from your truth.  You have to have space to create from.  You can’t be free if your life and body are sluggish and weighed down with toxins and stuff.  It’s a simple idea that is sometimes hard to grasp and untangle from.  And, it’s the best place to start.

I got really clear about my values as I started out four years ago and this has made all of the letting go so much easier.  I’ll talk more about core values another time, but until then, I invite you to think about what you can let go of.  It doesn’t have to be all at once. In fact, I recommend tackling just a few at a time so you don’t go into a life herx*. 🙂  If you want help getting started or putting a plan into place, you can contact me below.


*Herxheimer reaction: a reaction to endotoxin-like products released by the death of harmful microorganisms within the body during antibiotic treatment, resulting in systemic inflammatory response.

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