Sex, Lies and Money

Money in hand picture

I have been thinking about the issues of sexual predatory behaviors, in work places and abusive marriages, and how it relates to our beliefs around money.  Sexual abuse has the ability to keep us captive in a bad circumstance because we choose to believe that the person abusing us is the main source of our money flow.  We take a job, find out the boss wants sexual favors and we stay because we believe that this job is the best (or only) job we can get.  We believe that if we let go of the job, or the spouse, we will be destitute and on the streets.

Why do we choose to believe this?

I believe there are several factors.  First off, we don’t believe in our inherent worthiness.  We have been given messages, subtle and not so subtle, our entire lives that we should act small because we are small.  For the record, this is a FLAT OUT LIE.

Another reason: we haven’t learned that we are the source of our own abundance.

We haven’t had enough practice actively and consciously creating our own experiences. We haven’t realized that everything that shows up in our life, good or bad, comes from the thoughts we choose to believe and act on (based on the things we came here to learn but that’s another post).  It’s that simple.

And, that hard.  Changing our beliefs requires looking at our life from a different perspective and then continuing to chose that perspective throughout each day even though our brain wants to insert the habitual beliefs that we have been thinking our whole lives. We have to practice the new thought, over and over, just like we would practice learning a new language, by speaking it over and over, even though we are butchering it to death when we first start out.

We learn a new language of self-love.

And we need to ask ourselves, ‘Why do I want to believe that old thought?  What am I gaining from that way of thinking?”.  Many times, we can’t answer these questions because we don’t know why.  We don’t realize that we picked up the belief that “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush” because our grandmother used to say that to us when we were little.  We have lots of these unconscious beliefs floating around in our brain and we act them out every day in our lives, even when they aren’t working for us.

I invite you into the realm of conscious creation, my dear friends.  I invite you to figure out the beliefs that are keeping you stuck in situations that you wish you weren’t in.  And then, I invite you to create new beliefs and habits that create the beautiful life you came here to experience.  If you’d like help with that, shoot me an email at  This is something I’m getting really good at and I’d love to share my tricks with you.

In love and light,


For Real, For Real

Today started off amazing.  I meditated for awhile with my feet on the ground in my backyard, which I do every morning (until it gets too cold!).  I then packed up my stuff and headed to one of my favorite coffee shops in St Louis/Maplewood called The Living Room.  Awesome heart latte and super yummy breakfast.  Life as my own boss can be super fun. 🙂

I brought one of my old journals with me ’cause I like to look back over them every once in awhile to see how far I’ve come and what I still need to work on.   I found this gem in there from a coaching retreat I attended about four years ago:

Journal entry 2013ish

Hopefully, you can read my messy cursive.  Can you relate to any of those?

SO much pain in there.  Sometimes it’s hard to really admit your true experiences to yourself, to see your own anguish in blue and white on the page.

And, even more so, to admit them to others, like I have done in my own sessions with a coach.  Or here, as I promised myself I would do, as I started posting again.  Like for real, for real.

I’m happy to say, I have released most of the ideas I wrote about that day.  Over time, I was able to see where these beliefs came from and to realize that many of them weren’t even mine.  They were the beliefs of family members, friends and even societal expectations that I had picked up over time and chose to hang on to.  This is a practice that is more common than you would think, and most of us have these types of beliefs living in our subconscious, sabotaging us every day.  You have to be willing to dig around a bit.

The few beliefs that were mine came from trauma I experienced in childhood.  And, unfortunately, I’m finding that many of us have this, too.  These beliefs take a bit longer to heal but there isn’t any more important work you could do.

It takes courage to step up to the plate and take a hard look at the programs running our lives.  Believe me, I’ve had to dig deep and source courage over and over again.

So why bother, you might ask?

Because it feels SO good when you finally drop a limiting belief. SO. INCREDIBLY. GOOD.

Because freedom is one of my core values and you can’t truly be free when you’re holding yourself prisoner.

Because getting the junk out of your emotional body makes room for amazing stuff to come in, stuff like quitting soul sucking jobs and working from coffee shops doing what you love instead.  😉

Working your courage muscle pays off in more ways than you can imagine.  I promise to keep showing up with examples of what that looks like.

And I would love to hear some ways you are finding courage in your own life.  Together we can learn from each other, so please share in the comments below. ❤

In love and light,

Kimberly xo