Boundaries

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One of the big topics I touched on a few posts ago is letting go of toxic people.  This is a subject that I see come up over & over again and one that, unfortunately, I’ve had a lot of practice dealing with.

Having toxic people in your life can be one of the biggest drains to your life force energy that is possible, whether it’s a family member, friend, boss or co-worker.  As long as you are engaging with people who don’t respect you or treat you with love & kindness, you will be emotionally exhausted.

The first step is to recognize & accept that you have this dynamic working in your life. Some people know exactly who these toxic people are but some of us haven’t fully named it as such because we make excuses for them or keep giving others the benefit of the doubt or ‘second’ chances.

The best way to know is to check in with how you feel after you have interacted with the person in question.  Do you feel happy & light or do you feel like a grey sludge has just been poured over your entire body?  Other feeling clues: you’re anxious, fidgety, agitated, queasy in your stomach, you feel like a boulder is sitting on your chest or your throat feels closed off and clamped shut.

Toxic people get a charge off of others they attack so you could also feel drained or wiped out.  That’s because they literally just sucked your energy out and took it for themselves.

Your energy belongs to you.  You cannot afford to allow this exchange because over the long run, having less life force energy wreaks havoc on your physical & emotional health.

So, you have to set up BOUNDARIES.  Most women are not good at this because we aren’t ever taught how to do it.  Not only that, we’re taught that if we do, we’re a bitch.  We get these messages on so many levels that it can feel completely overwhelming to even know where to start.  But make no mistake, this is an essential learned skill, just like learning to drive or how to feed yourself.  It is not only OK to put up boundaries, it is your right.

It takes practice & determination and, step by step, it gets easier.  Eventually, after you’ve done it enough times, you start to see clearly when new situations arise whether stronger boundaries are required.  You set them up at the start and find that you rarely have big situations to deal with anymore.  Life gets easier and you have more energy to do the things you want to do.

I know putting up boundaries can be really hard which is why I’m offering my assistance if you find yourself in a place where you need to extricate yourself from one or more toxic relationships. I am debuting a new coaching model that will give you access to me any time of the day or evening in the moment you need help.  You can buy a monthly package that allows you to call anytime for support & clarity until you feel like you are through to the other side of your situation.  Go to my coaching tab to learn more.

As we put better boundaries in place, we find that less draining people show up and more empowering people come in to fill the void.  In order for this to happen, though, you have to make the decision that you deserve to be treated with respect and you have to hold firm when others test that decision.  Doing this work will empower you in a way that will improve every area of your life.  It can be messy but so very worth it!!!

In love and light,

Kimberly xo

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